Why it won't work to pay Weezer to shut up...

I assure you, I will stop web-logging about this soon. By "you," I mean the hypothetical human who has actually noticed that this is the third post about Weezer in a row.

The issue is that if Weezer takes the money ($10 million? $20 million?) that it would take to get them to stop producing any more music, Rivers Cuomo would still be out there and he would still make music and money. The single worst thing on the radio right now is that "Magic in Me" song.

That song is terrible for a variety of reasons, but I think the ultimate one is that, with that song, Rivers Cuomo is now participating in the worst thing going on in pop culture right now. He has written, sang, and recorded a song that has no purpose other than self-glossing and douche-bragging. The entire song is about nothing more than how magical Rivers Cuomo is. According to Rivers Cuomo, Rivers Cuomo is a god. This is from the same guy who used to sing amusing songs about how he felt stupid for hitting on a girl who was actually a lesbian, and that he read a girl's diary because she hadn't heard of Green Day but she still seemed very interesting. The same guy who wrote poetic, genius rock and roll such as "My Name is Jonas" and clever, vaguely sophisticated songs such as "The Sweater Song." Also, "Say It Ain't So."

The fact is, Rivers Cuomo was awesome. But when he was, he had no idea. And now that he isn't, he is certain that he is, and he thinks he should jump on the "Watch me being arrogant and then tell your friends how inspired you are by me" bandwagon.

So yeah. Apparently if you want to get played on Top 40 radio, you have to have an ego comparable to that of James Bond, and you have to lack the ability to write songs (or sing songs written by someone else, at times) about anything other than how great you are.

(Unless you're T.I. He writes interesting songs urging people not to be so exhibitionist or voyeuristic or arrogant... except then he goes to jail for guns and crystal meth.)